...especially when you don't have much choice of a wardrobe. I've learned that the hard way last Wednesday.

See, it would not be appropriate to pay the last respect to a dear Profesor when you are dressed with visible food stain on your dark clothing. I didn't even remember what was the binge eating occasion that causing this ridiculous problem. But judging from the brown gravy stain, it might be from either that Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner two years ago. Anyhoo, I decided to wear the ensemble but not after trying frantically to remove the individual stain bits as much as I could.

The memorial service went on beautifully. There were a lot of angelic singing by the choir, the double-trio, and the congregration itself. Funny stories were shared during the eulogy. The family members even read the memories written by his students over the years.

When the son started reading the second (or was it the third?) memory, I was again preparing to listen to another heartbreaking piece. He first mentioned the title in a voice so low I couldn't listen to it very well. Then, came the first sentence, the second sentence, and it was starting to get familiar. He had been reading that blog entry that I put on the special box that had been set up by the department two days before!

When you listen to your own writing being read in front of hundreds of mourning people, it becomes no less nostalgic and heartbreaking than the other things mentioned before. Even I got teary all over again.

Towards the end, just before the last paragraph, the son paused reading and sobbed. In a shaky voice he said, "The reason I want to share with you all this particular memory is because of this last paragraph."

The day before his departure, I saw him sitting on his office, a life-size stuffed red parrot perching from the ceiling. The room is full of souvenirs from his students all over the world. I was thinking to drop by and say "Hi" but hesitated and instead walked away upstairs to my office. I still regret that.

I am still trying to absorb that those words I'd written could have such an effect.